If you are like me, than the thought of Christmas Caroling has always made you a little uncomfortable.

Maybe it’s forcing some unsuspecting family to choose between these two options at the sound of carolers gathering at their doorstep:

Option 1: Open the door to this random group of strangers and face the obligation of standing in the cold while they do their best to fill your ears with the sounds of the holiday season.

Option 2: Duck behind the furniture, mute the TV and hope with everything you’ve got that this is NOT the type of group that sings 2-3 songs before giving up and moving onto the next house.

Or maybe it’s just the thought of assuming that others are going to appreciate a mob of singing wannabes creeping up to their doorstep and attempting to gain access to the individuals inside through the use of song alone. Who knows?

Either way, here are some tips to help with this particular Christmas activity.

The 5 Things You Should Do to Improve Your Caroling Experience

1.    Consider Wearing Bright Orange Jumpsuits.

There is nothing that really gets the blood pumping like a loud knock at the door followed by the immediate suspicion that your house has been targeted for refuge by a group of escaped convicts. Either way, you pretty much have the same chance of the door being opened if they actually know you are carolers.

2.    Avoid the Classics.

We know it’s tempting to stick with Jingle Bells, White Christmas and Rudolph, but have you considered mixing things up and going with songs like Purple Rain, Ice, Ice, Baby or even Thug Luv (feat. 2-Pac)?

3.    Don’t Go Straight for the Front Porch.

Predictability is killing this musical tradition. The people see you coming and have the doors locked, curtains closed and dog silenced before you can even get your group set for the first song. Next time, try sneaking around the back, filing into the garage after the family pulls in from church or even bringing a ladder and shouting your song of joy from their rooftops. I’m 83% sure they will appreciate at least one of these.

4.    Give Your Audience Some Power.

When a person is forced to do anything in their own home, they can start to feel victimized very quickly.  I mean, caroling is basically the musical equivalent of kidnapping and torture. So, maybe on your next outing, give the listeners a chance to vote the worst singer out of the group after each song. Kind of like an American Idol meets Survivor at Christmas type of thing.

5.    Stop Using the Elderly as Your Dress Rehearsal

Who do you think you’re fooling? Everyone knows those trips to the Nursing Home to “spread some holiday cheer” are all about getting ready for the bright lights of your neighbors’ houses. Just remember, those silly grins and approving head nods will keep on going even if the volume in their hearing aides have been lowered to zero.

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Comments

  1. Vimary Nieves says:

    Tim you are hilarious! I came across your blog while looking at Beckie’ s photography. I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.

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