I have had the privilege of working with teens in some capacity, on and off for the last 12 years.
Life is full of possibilities as they are discovering new things about themselves and the world around them everyday and it is pretty incredible to watch.
On the other hand, I also had to see some of the most painfully awkward social encounters as well and most of these came in the form of young males attempting to catch the attention of a particular girl.
Having recently started volunteering with the youth at our church and with these past visuals flooding back into my mind, I have decided to address the “Art of Flirting” with this edition of 5 Non-Points.
- Eye Contact
Ever start talking to someone and they just won’t stop staring at your thumb? I mean, like the entire conversation is completely normal but their eyes don’t cease focusing on your thumb the whole time. Of course, not. That would be weird right. Now apply the same school of thought to any other area of the body and you should be able to rationally conclude it’s probably not going to be an effective method of attracting someone. People are more than just thumbs.
- It’s Flirting, NOT Fishing
Sure, the saying is true, there are plenty of fish in the sea. However, flirting is meant to show interest in a particular fish…err…person (sidenote: if you find yourself flirting with a fish – even for practice – this blog post will not be enough to help you). Mass flirting with a group and hoping someone finds you charming is the equivalent of fishing with dynamite. No one is going to be lured in by such reckless behavior and your going to kill your chances with any of them in the process.
Admiring a person’s style or physical feature is a nice touch (remember the “thumb” stuff though). For instance, a young man might want to tell a girl she has beautiful hair. That’s great. If he then proceeds to grab her hair, take a deep whiff followed by a long sigh and then exclaim, “I’d love to cut it all off and stuff my pillow with it”, the line has been crossed and he will forever be considered creepy by the young lady and anyone who hears about the incident for the rest of his life.
The most evasive and alluding of qualities to portray can also be the most useful in a flirting situation. However, all the summoned bravado in the world will be no match for the presence of food in your teeth (or braces) or body odor powerful enough to take out a rhino within 30 yards. Be confident in your personal hygiene first and the rest will follow.
- Displays of Physical Superiority
You know what’s amazing? Someone who is the fastest, strongest and/or most athletic in the room. You know what’s sad? When that person spends all their time trying to impress the target of their intended flirtations while the target gets bored and starts talking to another potential suitor. You gotta engage. Staring from a distance and flexing is not going to work. Ever.