I hate exercise.
I know, I know. Hate is a very strong word and I need to be careful throwing it around too casually.
I stand by my statement 100%.
I HATE it. Hate, hate, hate.
Is that strong enough for you?
Exercise is the worst. I know I’m weak and my body is quickly declining into a mushy blob of flesh. I don’t need to run a mile, complete a max number of 3 push-ups or even dead press 25lbs to remind me.
Watching what I eat is even harder.
That crouton-free salad with tomatoes, cucumbers and low-fat dressing goes so much better with a deep fried Monte Cristo sandwich and a milkshake than with a handful of almonds and a veggie wrap.
Maybe if I eat heavier food, the amount of calories I burn each time I lift a bite to my mouth will offset the intake.
I have mentioned this before, but I would much prefer to just play a sport in place of an actual exercise routine if it meant I would be able to scarf down a tray of Oreos.
Unfortunately, basketball for 2 hours a week is not really enough – especially with the lazy way I play – and needs to be supplemented with something else to combat the entire pie I inhaled while binge watching the Biggest Loser.
So, then I start thinking, “what about a good supplement”. I think 9 out of 10 people on my Facebook page are selling some sort of hunger craving, fat blocking, poop inducing miracle pill or drink to curb the bloat, melt the chunk and erase years of bad eating habits within hours.
Only problem…not much organic out there and my wife has done too much research on non-organic products so I am pretty much scared out of my mind that I will get cancer if I don’t watch it.
Alright. Back to where I started, I guess.
Hmmm. I guess I could pick up running again. But…no running is boring (read my thoughts on running here).
Maybe I could take up yoga…no, wait…Pilates…no…even better…Krav Maga. I could learn how to “self defense” people until they are paralyzed for life.
Nah…that’s a little too dark for even me.
I’ve got it. I’ll take up biking again. Oh…nope…those padded bike shorts really do very little for my boney posterior, so I don’t think the cycle is a good option.
Gosh…exercise is stupid.
That’s my conclusion. Stupid.
Here’s the thing, though. I am going to keep pushing myself to stay in great shape for 2 reasons…my wife and my daughter.
My love and desire to spend whatever time the Lord affords me with them completely outweigh my disdain for exercise in general. And if I can do my part to remain healthy and full of energy for those two beauties, it is worth it.
Sure, I’ll probably always loathe exercise (is that taking it down a notch or intensifying my feelings?), but I would be more upset with myself if I allowed my lack of activity and/or eating habits to cause me to miss a part of their lives.
So, I guess I am going to do this.
Now, nobody shoot me, cause my plane to crash or nudge me off a cliff.